There's a children story about a child who can't avoid doing bad things and be rude to his mother. Later, when sorry, in a touching and honest way, he says to himself, "it's not me; it's the bad boy inside me". Sometimes I feel like something negative possesses me, angry and impatient. This bad, nervous, cynical hateful boy inside me takes over, and I can see how things get out of hand, like someone standing on the side, unable to interfere. Like yesterday, with this nice old man sitting next to me during the 4 hours flight from Milan, back home. Being nice to me, passing my tray to the stewardess... later, on the line to the passport control, where all the Israelis (like me) are anxiously trying to find the best and shortest cue possible, standing real close to one another, forming new impossible lines, only to fight later which is the original one and who's turn it is now. Building my anger at the unexpected shortening of some cue lines that I wasn't part of, and at the airport authorities who don't make a clear guidance for people to stand in clear line, I found this nice old man, standing next to me in a half cue line (or was I forming a new half line?) with his wife, standing on his other side, thus catching maybe another possible line (or half?). At the same time he also noticed me, we both looked at each other, and the nice man smiled at me, I think. Then, the bad boy inside, the angry impatient nervous cynical hateful boy, interpreting the nice man's smile as something else, without looking at the nice man's eyes, asked him rudely which was the line he was standing in, and while he was replying, embarrassed, pointing to where he was, the bad boy moved to the other line, "if you don't mind", without looking in the nice man's eye's, without smiling, impatient and right. A second later, too late, inside, I was embarrassed and sorry. But still can't look at the nice man's eyes, saying sorry. Smiling.

Well, nice man, I'd like to say I'm really sorry now, I didn't really mean that, it wasn't really me.
It was the bad boy inside.