My
friend Najib is getting married this Friday with a second wife.
No he's not divorced, he's still married with the first, just taking
another wife (he can do that, he's Bedouin). It's actually quite
a hassle because it involves a lot of money; building a new house
for the new wife, a big wedding party and payments to the bride's
family, but he's really happy about it, they're in love and it's
all very romantic.
I often think about polygamy, remembering with drooling envy the stories about King Solomon who allegedly had 1,000 wives. I don't think I could handle having 2 or 3 wives but any number over 100 would have been just perfect. I really think I could be in love with multiple women, it actually happens quite often. I can sure be attracted and find interest in so many women. I think I could have done this my life's project, had I lived in another time, in another role. I could have found a new love every week or so, thus recreating Solomon's harem within 20 years! Even If I would have started today I could have had 1,000 beautiful, intelligent, sexy, interesting, funny, challenging, loving wives by the age of fifty five. My mother would have had hundreds of grandchildren within just a few years… (not that I would have been doing this for her). I always find something attractive, interesting, adorable or exciting in that someone I'm with, even if it's just a one time thing, or a date, a conversation, a look, an email. But it always gets complicated when this contact, this association seems to becoming monogamous; a binding agreement not to be in love with another, not to show more than the correct friendly affection to another. A promise to preserve and bestow all these warm loving romantic feeling only to this one person. I can understand and sympathize with the feeling of possessing, of being the sole objective of your partner's love, or the feeling of security; you will never be left alone, will always have someone to be with, to share, to help, to love. Yes, this is human, but the exclusiveness is far from being natural. I could have given pure love and admiration to everyone of my 1,000 wives, appreciating everyone's own virtues, knowing the other ones have other qualities and I'm not missing or giving up on anything. Free of these petty feelings there is no need in searching for the perfect match or counting the most advantages you can find in someone when you consider being with, like deciding before buying a car or renting an apartment. With 1,000 apartments you're happy one is a bit dark, the other out of town, one in a high floor, and another with 4 flat mates. You enjoy each one's own advantages knowing the others will satisfy your other wishes. In this case I wouldn't mind my 1,000 wives having their own additional husbands. I would just appreciate being first in their priorities, when I choose to spend time with them (it's my harem after all). However, I must say that on the other hand, all these communes with open relationships and other alternative relationships don't seem to work wonderfully as well; there are always deep dark forces of jealousy and rivalry that tear the utopist dream into little green shreds. So what's the solution? There's no solution (unless you're King Solomon). That's life; love and hate, peace and war, attraction and rejection in a constant flow. Spiritual? No, just tired and bored. Anyway, back to Najib's
wedding; I won't be there because I leave on the same day to Vienna
and Italy for a few weeks. Very happy about it actually and the
stress levels are surprisingly low, I'm keeping with the plan and
deadlines heroically and everything's ticking smoothly by now. |
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